*** *** ***
As a child, when I was two years old, I was sent to my grandmother for a year, because my mother became pregnant, the pregnancy was difficult, and it was difficult to cope with me. When my brother was born, they began to call me, asking who I want to be brought to me (they asked for a name). I kept saying that I want Misha. When they brought my brother to me, my first question was: “Why is he not yellow?”. Turns out I wanted my mom's old yellow teddy bear to be brought to me! My brother is already 18 years old, Misha)
*** *** ***
At the age of 5, my lips were broken with a swing. At the age of 9, my dad called me to the beach, I rushed for a towel, fell and broke my lower lip on the joint. At the age of 11, on potatoes, I got on the line of “fire” in a war with boys, and a potato flew right into my upper lip. Never gave up sewing. Since childhood, she was a “lip-slap”, she was terribly complex. At the age of 40 in Turkey, glamorous ladies began to take an interest in me, where I did my lips so well. Only a childhood friend, a witness to all these events, laughed more than me))
*** *** ***
When I was a teenager, on January 1st, my friends and I got on the phone, called randomly selected numbers, said that we were from a professional greetings company, congratulated complete strangers on the New Year, said kind words, wished different goodies.
To the question: “Who ordered the congratulations?” They answered that according to the rules we cannot name the customer. It was nice to realize that you are doing someone nice and cheer up.
*** *** ***
*** *** ***
Mom argued with dad. The standard situation is not to put your things back in place. Mom's patience snapped, and she said that if his things were lying around the room again, she would throw out all his clothes. The next day, I noticed that my father's socks were lying on the floor, and I, like a very fair child, decided to help my mother. I took all my father's things and started throwing them out the window.
I did my job and then noticed that I had a lot of unnecessary things. Yes, yes, I started throwing out my things. As I remember now: my hat infuriated me! I was so glad to be rid of her. I decided that the mission was completed, but there it was!
Suddenly the doorbell rings. Some woman says: “Is your child throwing things out of the window?” It turns out that she collected everything that I so diligently threw out. Mom still communicates with that kind woman, and they “taunt” me together, although 15 years have passed since that moment.
*** *** ***
I was recently on the bus during rush hour. The bus began to fill up with people who were frozen from standing at stops for a long time, dissatisfied, and scolded the cancellation of minibuses, roads, traffic jams ... Those who managed to squeeze into the front door demanded passage to the middle, the “middle” shouted that everything was packed, people were choking, the bus crawling twice as slow as usual, and I already thought that I would listen to bus squabbles all the way, and my festive mood would deteriorate hopelessly.
And suddenly some guy said: “People, since we are all gathered here, and we have a long way to go, let's play cities!”. At first, somehow timidly, but then, reviving more and more, the people began to play! I have never had so much fun riding a bus. The guy joked, people laughed - kind, friendly, closely pressed to each other.
*** *** ***
When my grandfather went to the front in 1941, my grandmother already had four children. I found out almost immediately that I was pregnant with my fifth. I was scared how to live with such a crowd without a husband, found a grandmother, had an abortion. And it was so hard morally, and the reports from the front were disappointing. In an impulse, she promised herself that her husband would return from the front, give birth to six more, if only he would return. She kept her word. The grandfather returned wounded, and the grandmother gave birth to six more children after the war. My mother is the ninth.
*** *** ***
I'm standing in line for sweets, a man is standing in front. It's his turn. The saleswoman asks what he wants. He asks for something to her taste. She tells him: Well, take sweets "Medunok". He looked at her in surprise, but said to weigh 200 grams, then turns to me and says: Some strange name for sweets "Mezhdunog".
I doubled over in a fit of laughter. The saleswoman understood and crawled under the counter. While the saleswoman and I did not move away from hysteria, the man stood at a loss that there were two mentally abnormal people in front of him. But when it was explained to him, he also laughed for a long time.
Strange and wonderful things happen to each of us every day, and sometimes it is simply impossible to keep silent about it. Therefore, there is even a special project that helps people anonymously share their revelations.
There are different stories: joyful and sad, evil and kind. But we are inspired by stories about what made the lives of their authors happier and more fun. These revelations are collected in this article.
Yesterday I was on a bus and I had only 8 rubles, and the fare is 18 rubles. I approached the driver and said that I was missing 10 rubles. and offered him 8 rubles and chewing gum. He smiled and took them.
I like to bring the kettle to a very loud whistle. It feels like I'm bringing a girl to orgasm.
After watching films about gray mouse girls turning into princesses, I decided that for a year I would not wear makeup and walk only with a ponytail or a pigtail. At graduation, everyone looked only at me)
For almost a month we have been playing with my husband in paid sex. Dachshund - a thousand))) If he wants, then he throws me on the card, if I need it, then I tell him. I thought to earn extra money on morning sex, but I almost went bankrupt on the evening one))
I am so fat that being 5 months pregnant no one notices it. And so I want to accept congratulations from all my friends ...
I don't like summer - and you know why? Summer has become a brag about who has a better body, whose dick sticks out more from under their swimming trunks, whose nipples stick out more under a wet swimsuit, who has a cooler tattoo and who spent more money on holidays abroad... Infuriates.
The girl left, went to work and said to pack her things and get out! Without thinking twice, I went to the pet store and bought all the cockroaches there. leaving, on the threshold he opened them and threw them into the apartment) Good luck. fucking bitch))))
My four-year-old brother today refused to go to kindergarten, he says he has the smallest pussy there and everyone laughs at him. Not childish problems..
I am going home. I pass through the playground. Two girls aged 12-14 are sitting and crocheting. They just sit and knit. Between them there is a glomerulus.
My boyfriend and I sometimes go to gay clubs where no one knows we're a couple. Guys pester him before my eyes, girls pester me. All evening we flirt with people of the same sex with us, get turned on, and in the end we reject everyone and
We're going home. Sex in such evenings is just crazy and very passionate.
I didn’t let a man in the queue who was in a hurry somewhere, and when I didn’t have 10 rubles at the checkout, he paid for me. Ashamed.
The other day I was having sex with my beloved, increased the pace, she realized that I was ending and at that moment she took a head massager - an anti-stress, with a light movement I drove over my head. I almost died of pleasure!
Once I was preparing a surprise for a friend for another. I put a cake for tea and decided to pour jam into a plate. I take out a 5-liter jar of jam, open it, and then it spills onto the table. Pity the jam. Undressed so as not to stain new clothes.
And here is an oil painting: a friend comes in, and I am naked, covered in jam, licking the table ...
I forgot to rename it and sent the text of the diploma called "Diploma e [email protected] noe "...waiting for an answer.
I masturbate 3 times the night before the exam. good luck!
When I was 16-17 years old, I often visited a sex shop and bought toys. I changed a couple of vibrators, there were anal plugs and a dildo. And how else to know your body, your nature? not dozens of men to pass through themselves .. And
I'm 21 now and my boyfriend whines when I talk about any experiments in bed. Boredom, damn
Not so long ago, we had a small earthquake in our city. The entire internet was in a frenzy! Ahhh, the chandelier of our house swayed, the shelves shook, the sofas went. Well, what about me? At that moment I was not in a jolt!
My boyfriend and I have a tradition - in the morning he knights me, puts my penis first on my right shoulder, then on my left, and then touches my forehead.
Once I ran out of toilet paper and I started using menthol handkerchiefs. such a thrill. as if someone is making me kuni with mint gum in my mouth .... now I basically don’t buy toilet paper.
We met with mch for a year. Everything was great. But it just so happened that I cheated on him, nothing serious, one night stand. But then my conscience began to torment me. She told. There were no tantrums. He said that it turns him on and he wants
details. That night we had the most amazing sex of my life.
I work as an administrator in a medical center. I register patients and issue results. And no one knows that 10 times a shift I go to the toilet to cry because it's very hard for me to see when good people bad tests come.
A few days was fig mood. Almost depression. I ate an orange, buried a few seeds in a pot of earth and they sprouted! I was so happy! Like a child!!! Now the first thing in the morning I look for sprouts, water them,
then I have breakfast. So good)))
My boyfriend keeps asking me what I'm doing that makes my lips smell like raspberries. And I can’t tell him that it’s just my raspberry-flavored depellation cream, and with it I remove my stiff mustache above my lip: Z
I eat toilet paper. Well, my husband thinks so. Well, do not admit that I have a fat ass, and it takes half a roll to wipe it!
I was standing in line at McDonald's, in the next line was a guy with dreadlocks. The young man standing in front of me looked at these dreadlocks for a long time, then turned to a friend standing next to me and said: “You know, I have a cat of the same garbage
vomits when his fur gets licked."
I study in honey, for the summer I decided to work and got a job in the morgue. I never believed that when a person dies, the clock on his hand stops. When I found out I was shocked.
I live with a guy and a dog, when I come home from work, they meet me, the dog wags his tail, and the guy takes off his underpants and wags his dick, which means that they are happy to see me)
I remember my mother bought me clothes in size L. I thought L was because L was the first letter of my name. And then it turned out because I'm fat.
My friend has never been original. As a child, I remember, she had a parrot Parrot, then a cat Cat, now an old dog Dog. Today she said that she flew. I think I know what she will name her child.
I get on the train at 12 o'clock at night, and I see that 4 riot policemen are sitting at the beginning of the car, and 2 priests at the end. Sat in the middle of the car with the thought: "Maximum protection!"
I opened the yogurt, threw away the lid without licking it. Mom looked, said "The family has its black sheep"
As a child, I ate soap and considered it the most delicious thing in the world) Now I don’t understand how it was possible to be so e [email protected] naughty child
For more than six months, my parents do not suspect that my boyfriend is still living with us. We hide smartly. Everyone is happy.
Today I saw a picture of the human brain in the tape. Terribly wanted to lick him. Now all day, I walk and I want to lick the brain!
When I am very sad, I lie down on the bed and roll myself into a blanket, imagining that I am a huge shawarma, it is very calming:3
My sister is 12, she watches Game of Thrones and she wants to go there madly. It would be better if she waited for a letter from Hogwarts, like all normal children.
When I put money on the phone, it seems as if it becomes heavier in weight!
A man loves hairy pussies. I had to stop shaving = (Now I have gorgeous 4 cm hair, and when I go to the toilet, I push my labia apart to pee "cleanly" ... And I also dream at night how I shave ...
I work for a prestigious bank. Fucking with the boss. Not because you need a raise or an increase in salary. And because, in fact, there are feelings for him. I tell everyone that because of selfish goals. Ashamed.
We have been married for 5 years, we love each other to the point of madness. When I meet my friends, they complain about their personal lives all the time, and I have nothing to say, sometimes I come up with something. God it's so embarrassing
At my brother's wedding, I caught the bride's bouquet, and a waiter passing by caught a garter. When he caught it, a tray with juice and some kind of meat fell from his hands. Everything was on my boobs.
and left. 4 years have passed, in a week I'm getting married to this waiter.
When I wring things out after washing, I often suck out the water with my mouth. The water is so tasty and clean that one day I managed to make a hole in a T-shirt with my sucking.
My parents have a one-room apartment, so since the age of ten I have been living in the kitchen: D
It is unlikely that anyone can argue with the statement that life is much more interesting than any fiction.
Strange and wonderful things happen to each of us every day, and sometimes it is simply impossible to keep silent about it. Therefore, there is even a special project that helps people anonymously share their revelations.
There are different stories: joyful and sad, evil and kind. We are inspired by stories about what made the life of their authors happier and more fun. These revelations are collected in this article.
About good
I'm waiting for my wife on a bench at the entrance. A red cat comes up, meows. I talked to him, and he caresses and meows, he also tells me something of his own, it is clear that he is homely, lost, not afraid of people. I met him at the house and the next day - again meowing something to me. On the third day I saw him all dirty - as before, he came up to me and meowed sadly, as if crying. Never in my life have I had animals before, and now there is the most intelligent and sociable cat in the whole world.
I live in a city where there are two railway stations. The railway line from one station to another passes through the city, along the road to the airport. So, if the guys are sitting in an "ambush" with a radar on the road, then the driver "blinks" the headlights of the diesel locomotive to oncoming cars. Our people cannot be defeated! Who has poor eyesight - we arm ourselves with glasses so as not to miss the signal.
My wife is a teacher at the institute, strict, puts deuces without compromise. Sometimes he brings exam sheets home. So, when my "bitch" falls asleep, I change some deuces to triples, because I myself was a loser. While channeling. Have fun kids, you have your incognito genie!
Once, when I was in first grade, I ran down the school corridor and fell. The floors were wooden, all the knees and palms were covered with numerous splinters. Suddenly, tenth-graders came to the rescue, who skipped class, picking out splinters from my knees, calming me, crying bitterly. Many years have passed since then, but I remember these supermen! If they're reading this: Thank you guys so much for your kindness.
Fell asleep on the subway after work. I wake up, I understand that I put my hands under my head and settled down on the man's lap. I felt ashamed, I didn’t know how to quietly get up and fall down. Apparently, the man saw that I woke up and said with a smile: “Yes, you sleep, sleep, I passed my stop about 10 minutes ago.”
About failures
Photographer. After the registry office, the newlyweds are given pigeons to release them into the sky. I take a standard shot with the pigeons in their hands, and I say: “Kiss!” 99% of the grooms kiss the dove, not the bride.
I came to a new job, made eyes at the guy for a week, the next week he came up and asked what he had done to me and why I was looking at him so angrily.
For three years they celebrated the anniversary of the registration of marriage on October 17, until they looked at the certificate, in which the date is November 17 ...
I'm at work, my husband is at home. To my question: “What are you doing?” - replied: "I'm doing your job!" She was delighted: she thought she was preparing dinner and washing the floors. I come, and he eats sweets.
As a child, when I visited my grandmother at home, I imagined that the socket in the bedroom was a microphone, and sang various songs into it. I stopped doing this when the neighbors said through the same outlet: “Girl, we hear everything.”
About life
Today, such a sun, I remember March 8, 2009 - it is also very sunny and warm, this is a rarity. We were driving around the city in a tram, and then the woman driver sang into the microphone, then the conductor read a verse, and all passengers were allowed to send congratulations, read poetry, sing. And I just lost the gift of speech and cried from an excess of emotions. This is Peter.
At the exit from the subway, my grandmother and a five-year-old boy were climbing the stairs in front of me. Coming out into the spring Moscow sun, the baby, stopping, said with a breath: “A strange melancholic state ...” “Don't drive yourself into this emotional trap,” the granny answered, and they headed for the entrance to Pushkinsky. Cultural Moscow.
I live in Germany. who can pronounce "Kraftzoughaftpflichtferziherung" without pausing to take a breath, call the frying pan "kavaraska" because, damn it, the Russian language is very difficult!
About love
After my business went bankrupt, I worked as a taxi driver for two months without telling my wife anything. Today I found out that she knew everything and secretly worked as an English tutor. I love her.
When I went to school, my mother always woke me up in the morning, now I study in another city several thousand kilometers away, I go to school by half past eight, and my mother has to go to work by ten, but every morning she calls me at seven in the morning and wishes good morning. Take care of your mothers - they are the most valuable thing you have.
She spent most of her childhood often visiting her mother at work in a children's oncological rehabilitation center.
So, one 17-year-old girl with her boyfriend left an indelible impression for life. She had osteosarcoma, had several sessions of chemotherapy, cut off her left leg above the knee. Once a guy came to visit her, that girl told him, they say, let's break up, I don't want to spoil your life. The guy told her a firm "no" and said that she was the best for him.
Not so long ago I met them by chance. She is in trousers, with a prosthesis, of course, they are walking, holding hands, with them two children. We started talking, the eldest son (he is 6) got into the conversation, proudly declaring that his mother is the best, because she is a Terminator.
My brother, at the age of 16, with his friends are still frivolous: iPhones, brands, etc. But one day it turned out that their heads were filled with not only this nonsense. Returning from school, they saw a car hit a cat (which had already flown into the bushes). They picked him up and took him to the vet. And they paid the doctor for the treatment. The cat is all right. And I already looked at my brother with different eyes)
Mom asked for a white kitten for her birthday. I found it in the first ad in the group with "loses" - someone threw out a box in which there were 16 newborn kittens, including a white one. Caring guys took the box home to attach everyone over time. The announcement was 4.5 hours. When I called to find out where to pick up a cat, they told me that they were all taken apart in 2 hours! 16 kittens dismantled in 2 hours! Thanks for being you guys, you give me hope!
Once, when I was in the 4th grade, I went by minibus to training. I hand the money to the driver, and instead of taking it, he asks: “How do you study?”. At first I was taken aback, then I answered that I was an excellent student (and it was true). The driver said: "Well then, keep the money." I remember this driver for a long time.
Every morning, a dog gets on the minibus at my stop and goes straight to the market, where he gets up and runs about his business. All passengers love her. A fluffy ray of goodness in the morning bus!
He saved up for a Mazda 6, saved up exactly 1,000,000 rubles, went to visit his friend, she is a member of the Do Good Foundation, and somehow they came with her to the boy Artem of seven years. He did not have enough money for the operation - 800,000 rubles. I have never seen a more kind and joyful boy. While I was chatting with him, I told him that I have a magic lantern that can fulfill one wish, but this wish must be written on the lantern and launched into the sky. He, with his mother and my girlfriend, went to the city and wrote on a street lamp: “I want to walk.” When he came home, a million rubles and a note were waiting on his desk - get better ...
I'm saving up for a Mazda. I don't regret anything. It seems to me that a small miracle should happen in the life of every person.
When I asked my grandmother which person was the most significant in her life, I hoped that she would say - grandfather or one of the children, but she said that this person was a German soldier who found her alone, six years old in the ruins, did not give her away, came sometimes he shared sugar and bread with her. He was scary, pimply, thin and without eyebrows. She did not understand him and was frightened when he suddenly took her somewhere, but he simply handed her over to kind people in the village. Without him, our family would not exist.
Friends, you can congratulate me, today I bought a modem.
But it's not about that. I ordered the modem, I'm waiting for the courier to arrive. Sends the first SMS: “I left. I'll be there within the hour." Then after 20 minutes: “I came up. Please get down." I meet a woman of 35 years old, pretty. Smiled at her. I myself know what it is like to work on your feet, running all over Moscow.
He asked how she got there, if she had found it quickly. Silent. Okay, I think there are a lot of cars on the street. We go inside the building, I notice that, to another question, she is trying to squeeze something out. Understood - deaf-mute. I filled out all the paperwork for the SIM card that comes with the kit. Passport data recorded, checked the completeness of the device. All OK. I handed over the money and said thank you.
So, dear company, thank you very much for helping and giving jobs to people with disabilities! You are doing a very good and kind work! After all, they are no different from us and should not be infringed on their rights. Thank you from your user!
About love
Every evening my husband and I read aloud to each other, taking turns, instead of staring at phones and laptops, TV shows or movies. Inexpressible feelings! And every night I fall in love with him more and more.
Today I'm on the bus. Another boring day. As usual, out of stupid habit, I move my lips, repeating the words after the singer in my headphones. And then I see: a guy of extraordinary beauty is sitting! I look at him, I can’t tear my eyes away and intuitively sing silently “I think, I love you baby”, and he apparently noticed me and, also silently, as if answers with a slight smile “I think, I love you too”. Ear to ear smile all day long.
About family
It was in St. Petersburg. I was crossing the road and overheard a dialogue between a mother and a small child. The child did not want to take his mother by the hand. And then she told him that HE would take her across the road so that nothing would happen to her. That was my very useful observation, because I myself will soon become a mother.
I am a meter fifty tall, my husband is a meter fifty-seven. And my father is meter eighty and wears a long beard. When he comes to visit, he always greets: “Well, hello, hobbits!”, And the husband replies: “Great, Gandalf.”
Yesterday my son and I chatted for about two hours. And this is not from the series "son, we need to talk about your behavior." We talked about everything. About work, about the apple pie recipe, about cats... About politics... About prices, salaries and loans... About tea varieties... About books read and their authors... About fishing and again about cats... About his girlfriend and my man, about friends, acquaintances and relatives, about Kamchatka and childhood, about cars and their repair. Together we made sandwiches and a salad, and ate them with appetite, washed down with tea. And it was great! And all because there was a huge pile of apples in the kitchen, and they had to be washed, peeled and cut into jam.
About childhood
In my childhood, my father worked constantly, so I was always very glad to see him. As soon as I saw it, I climbed onto the first thing that came across on my way to him: a chair, a sofa, shouting “Dad, catch it!” without a single superfluous thought jumped on him. I was little interested in whether he was standing with his back or face to me, whether he saw where I was, whether he had time to catch me at all. It was unconditional trust, and he never undermined it - he always caught it.
I'm standing on the back porch of the house. Children aged 10-12 run in the yard.
A very chubby kid is taxiing around the corner and heading somewhere deep into the yard. Nearby, some two girls start pointing their fingers at him and laughing. The guy turns around and in a hoarse voice, intonation, like Don Corleone, actively gesticulating, says:
- Yana, Yana, dear, do you want to tell me something? Do you want to convey something to me, dear? So come and say it to my face, Yana! And if you continue to scream behind my back, then I will come up and kick your skinny ass!
I can't help it and start laughing. The guy turns to me, takes off his cap and tilts his head a little, says:
- Good evening, mademoiselle.
Now this is my favorite kid in the yard!
About failures
In general, I am well versed in technology, but once I was ashamed ... I didn’t print the printer, called the IT programmer, he came, plugged the plug into the outlet and said to my guilty smile that, apparently, this was the day: he had just gone to the call “The printer prints crookedly” - I came to them, put the paper evenly!
Some wives scold their husbands for inattention, for forgetting wedding anniversaries. We have an idyll in this regard in our family. We had our wedding anniversary a week ago. And we both safely forgot about it ...
